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As the ship steamed relentlessly southward at full speed ahead, the mood of the crew grew conspicuously more somber. Forced to let go of the frenzied and orgiastic pleasures of a Dionysian holiday in Japan, they unwillingly surrendered themselves to the more Apollonian way of life found onboard the ship. Totally incapable of seeing beyond [...]
I was so overwhelmed by my own existential pain that, to this very day, I can recall little else about the trip back to Yokuska. O how I did long for a way out of the nightmare that haunted me, both day and night. O how I ached for the physical presence of Mary, as [...]
Around this time, I bought some civilian clothes so that I could go down to Waikiki Beach, in the evenings, and blend in with the rest of the tourists. For the sake of my humanity, I needed to get away from that menagerie of animals back onboard the ship, as much as possible, to avoid [...]
While I had certainly reached a low point in my life, I had not the slightest clue as to how I could escape this black hole. Caught up in the vortex of this hell, I cried out in anguish one night, “O God, please help me, for I’m at my wits end. I must get [...]
As a watchman of another sort, how quickly was I rotated, one night shortly thereafter, from one position to another, ever closer to where the Captain slouched in an elevated swivel seat on the starboard side of the bridge, with his feet propped up, while the rest of us humiliatingly acquiesced to his majesty’s every [...]
Shortly after arriving onboard the Davidson, did I get my sea legs, or first real taste of life at sea, which turned out to be a little more hectic than life in port because of the added burden of having to stand four hour watches after a day’s work. While most of the crew hated [...]
Having reached the age of personal responsibility for myself, I suddenly inherited all the unresolved conflicts of my parents. Overnight, I grew just as incapable of relating with others, particularly the opposite sex, as my stepfather had, my mother. For when my mother rejected his sexual entreaties out of the very real fear she might [...]
“You must faithfully reproduce the man God intended you to become,” declared my mentor. “Only, I do not know this man,” I insisted. “Nor did the Buddha or Christ,” responded my mentor. “It took Christ thirty years to come to a fuller understanding of Who He Really Is. Like the Buddha, it may take you [...]
As a child, I had never been taught by my fathers, or by the religion of my fathers, how to communicate with the metaphysical side of my nature. O, I had learned how to ask God for things, as if the Almighty were some genie who could grant my every wish. But I was never [...]
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