In many ways, I was just like the other guys on the ship, for I was still too much into the habit of putting down my feelings—a pattern of behavior I’d acquired from my stepdad who, in turn, had acquired it from the temple priests of the Great Gray Mother. And like the others, I [...]
What I saw, in many of the crew, were men with broken spirits, hollow men who had sold their souls to the Great Gray Mother for a mere pittance. Having been granted the intoxicating drink they sought to ease their pain, and the favors of her prostitutes to satisfy their compulsion for soul as the [...]
Having reached the age of personal responsibility for myself, I suddenly inherited all the unresolved conflicts of my parents. Overnight, I grew just as incapable of relating with others, particularly the opposite sex, as my stepfather had, my mother. For when my mother rejected his sexual entreaties out of the very real fear she might [...]
Oddly enough, I needed my pain as much as this crutch needed me, as I had the distinct feeling Nature was driving me to lose my self in some yet unknown task. If only I could let go of my self, long enough to taste how it felt to forget about oneself, I believed I [...]
